[sypora26]

Hi, I have a 10 year old brother who lost his father to suicide at two years old and our mother to breast cancer just 3 years ago. I took him the other week to the burial site where both of our parents are so that he could pay his respects to his father for fathers day. we spent a lil time talking about our mother and he told me in so many words that he felt like he was to blame for her death....

I know that he needs to talk to someone about this but he isnt very open with his feelings. I dont want him growing up thinkin that its his fault that we are without our mother. I am looking for sugestions on who and what I can do to help him get thru this level of grief. If any one knows someone that can relate to him or feel the same way it would be nice to know that he isnt alone and that it in fact is not his fault. Maybe if it came from an outsider he might be more receptable to what he is hearing....

Please help me help him.... he's too young and has lost too much to carry this on his shoulders.

[RibbonGirl]

sypora26, on 28 June 2010 - 11:58 PM, said:

Hi, I have a 10 year old brother who lost his father to suicide at two years old and our mother to breast cancer just 3 years ago. I took him the other week to the burial site where both of our parents are so that he could pay his respects to his father for fathers day. we spent a lil time talking about our mother and he told me in so many words that he felt like he was to blame for her death....

I know that he needs to talk to someone about this but he isnt very open with his feelings. I dont want him growing up thinkin that its his fault that we are without our mother. I am looking for sugestions on who and what I can do to help him get thru this level of grief. If any one knows someone that can relate to him or feel the same way it would be nice to know that he isnt alone and that it in fact is not his fault. Maybe if it came from an outsider he might be more receptable to what he is hearing....

Please help me help him.... he's too young and has lost too much to carry this on his shoulders.

Sypora,


The following link may be of some help to your brother. Best wishes!

http://www.kidskonnected.org/

[Maya II]

A good child psychologist will be able to help your brother. And he must get help. Children often believe in "magical thinking," simply that they can cause something to happen by thinking it. He needs to know, really know, he did not cause his mother's BC. If this work isn't done now, he'll carry the guilt feelings the remainder of his life. Please find him a therapist. If money is an issue, look to the low cost or no cost clinics. Start with a family and children's agency and ask for referrals.

I'm wishing all the best for you and your brother. Losing both parents is tough for anyone, but at such a young age, it's a very cruel loss.

Peace and courage.

[Onward]

Maya II, on 29 June 2010 - 10:26 AM, said:

A good child psychologist will be able to help your brother. And he must get help. Children often believe in "magical thinking," simply that they can cause something to happen by thinking it. He needs to know, really know, he did not cause his mother's BC. If this work isn't done now, he'll carry the guilt feelings the remainder of his life. Please find him a therapist. If money is an issue, look to the low cost or no cost clinics. Start with a family and children's agency and ask for referrals.

I'm wishing all the best for you and your brother. Losing both parents is tough for anyone, but at such a young age, it's a very cruel loss.

Peace and courage.

First of all I am sorry for your loss. Sounds like you are carrying more than seems fair. I agree with Maya. Your brother needs to talk to a professional. Schools out or I would reccomend trying the school counselor, they can get you started. My prayers are with you. Caryn

[Panthera]

Sorry you family has had to endure so much suffering in such a short time. Encourage him, gently to share his pain have someone he loves & trust to listen. Healing from such trauma will take a some time,he needs emotional support as well. Wishing you peace & healing . May God grant you peace, strength & comfort. Gail



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